Planned felonies:


The core line up of The Ploughmen includes an unusual mixture of instruments, including guitar, banjo, double bass, saxophone, sometimes a clarinet, another guitar, drums, all manner of whistles, percussion and bird calls, maybe a harmonica and possibly the occasional mandolin or ukulele thrown in [literally] for good measure

These are wielded by the following offenders, in alphabetical order:

  • Barry (AKA Bo Widdley):
    Guitar, transcendental meditation, mercenary tendencies, heartless betrayal...
  • Ben (AKA Bo Skiddley):
    Bass, sitting down
  • Gordon (AKA Bo Piddley):
    Guitar, vocals, forgetting words, sound FX, fag and bathroom breaks, banjo-player jokes
  • Keith (AKA Blow Diddley):
    Saxophone, clarinet, tin whistle, recorder, tambourine, occasional hat, Benny Hill tribute
  • Phil (AKA Bo Hillbiddley):
    Banjo, vocals, bass, Butlins-style compere duties, leaving early to watch Celebrity Love Island
  • Trevor (AKA Bo Paradiddley):
    Drums, shaky things, half a dozen carbines, fag breaks, wandering off, Mickeys

Past participles and occasional guest performers:

  • Billy (don't be a hero):
    Mandolin and occasional vocals
  • Boyd (AKA Boyd Diddley):
    Sleazy lounge vocals, timing errors, fag breaks, extreme leaning, wandering off, cider
  • Colin (Fred Scuttle):
    Benny Hill impression
  • Eric (The Dustman) RIP:
    Skiffle vocals and extreme rhythmic variations
  • Mary as "Mary" in The Green, Green Grass of Home
  • PJ (AKA P Diddley):
    Double bass, bass guitar, vocals, demented laughter, mandolin, fag breaks, Stella
  • Rick (AKA Bo Fiddley / The Deserter):
    Mandolin, ukulele, tin whistle, solo-ducking, mistakes, additional mistakes, Guinness
  • Robin (AKA Elbow Diddley):
    Guitar, mandolin, string-breakage, late-entry solos, sick notes

Other guests and members come and go seemingly at random. Occasional and former contributors include: Kris, Pete, Lyn, Russell, and Martin... all in various capacities.

It should be noted that at least two former members even went so far as to emigrate in order to escape involvement . . . more

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